Picture

The primary driver for every human being is to love and be loved, but within a judgmental society like our own our youngsters quickly learn from experience that love appears to be most often conditional:

"If you behave like this you are lovable, but if you don't you are not!"
So every child is left trying to navigate through the myriad of conditions presented to them by the adult authority figures in their lives - parents, family members, carers, teachers, role models, police...etc - Now if these authority figures could all agree and remain consistent on the conditions required to be lovable then 'conditional love' might prove effective and the child might stand a chance, but they don't.

Constantly being judged and criticised for failing to live up to the expectations of others that are present in every moment, rapidly erodes the natural sense of self-worth that every child is born with. A fear of failure and rejection blossoms, and the natural, child-like excitement of potentially thriving in this world starts to fade, to be replaced by pure survival as the primary goal for life's journey.

Too much thought and attention becomes focused on what is not wanted, in the flawed belief that 'pushing against what is not wanted' will minimise the likelihood of experiencing it. There is very little precious time spent focusing on what really is wanted and even where it does occur, the attention of the untrained emphasises the absence of what is wanted, reinforced by the increasingly established belief that 'I am not good enough' to deserve it anyway.

Hope is rapidly extinguished, trust in others diminishes and any authority figure can become the common enemy. Expectations of a hard life ahead are reinforced continually and the pain of unachieved desires is avoided by setting expectations unnaturally low.  Comfort is sought with those encountering similar challenges (e.g. gangs) or the individual unconsciously sets their compass on survival at any cost...

This is but one example of how our society maintains the perfect breeding ground for the next young offender
 


Comments


Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply